Reflections on “In Her Shoes”

On January 23 during the Casa de Misericordia Board of Directors Retreat, we were exposed to an exercise called “In Their Shoes.” My first impression and notion was of annoyance and frustration. We were asked to group read real-life scenarios and walk to different stations to observe various scenarios of a victim of family violence. I am a 36-year veteran of the Laredo Police Force, including 9 years as a Homicide Detective. I whispered that I had witnessed firsthand and experienced the impact and tragedy of domestic

violence (DV), and in all honesty I believed it was a waste of time. Well…I played along…and joined a group with my fellow Board members and read the situational cards and moved along. After the second card/situation I started to get into the mindset of the victim and perpetrator’s actions and rationale. As the experiment progressed I was fully and truly immersed and actually felt, both psychologically and emotionally, as if I was witnessing the relationship gradually deteriorating and worsening including the signs and opportunities missed by other persons that could have helped our Victim who, at the end, died at the hands of her husband. This ‘exercise’ felt personal, as we all developed a kinship and sentiments for the female victim.
I applaud the committee that had the idea and concept of having us “walk through the shoes of a Domestic Violence Victim” – it was an eye-opener and revelation for all of us!! – THANKS FOR A JOB WELL DONE.

Jesus R. Torres
Casa De Misericordia Board Member | Assistant Chief of Police Laredo Police Department | FBINA #244